Your JoeDog is confused. He can’t help it; Google can’t keep its story straight.

For example, in Google’s Webmaster Tools, they tell him 16 people clicked search results that pointed to www.joedog.org last month. In Analytics, they tell him 11,696 people clicked links over that same period. That’s quite a discrepancy.

Here’s another head scratcher: In Analytics, they say Your JoeDog had just under 50,000 page impressions in May but Adsense says it was over 60,000.  That’s unexpected, right? Many of you are running ad blockers — hey! why are you blocking Your JoeDog’s ads? — shouldn’t we expect more Analytics impressions than Adsense impressions?

The only analytics program we really trust is Webalizer.  That’s a log analysis tool which provides summary reports of all activity. If you make a request, it’s in the logs and therefore in the report. So while Analytics says 50,000 page impressions and Adsense says 60,000 page impressions, Webalizer says “No, yo, it was actually 317,490.”

None of the 260,000 people who eluded Google’s detection are reading this post. They are login attackers, link spammers, referrer spammers and an assortment of other dicks. Your JoeDog doesn’t know all the things they’re doing to this site but he’s confident of one thing: there were at least 260,000 of them last month.