Since this is a nerd blog, Your JoeDog tries to avoid politics. Afterall, who gives a shit what he thinks, amirite? As you may have guessed, that’s a segue. You know what follows that segue, don’tcha? That’s right: politics.

Today we will discuss a particular senator from the great state of Texas. Your nerdblogger has never been to Texas so he’s not sure if it’s great. Texans tell him, “Don’t Mess With Texas” so, um, “great state” it is!

Texas is represented by a particular senator whose mind droppings may interest the readers of this blog. Those mental farts provide useful insight into his character and the policies he’d like to enact. Unfortunately, they don’t tell us much about the senator himself but this much is certain: Ted Cruz is either the dumbest motherfscker on the Internets or a diabolical genius.

A couple days ago, Cruz dropped this loaf on the Internets:

When you regulate a public utility, it calcifies it — it freezes it in place. Let’s give a simple contrast. The Telecommunications Act of 1934 was adopted to regulate these [pulls out an old rotary phone]. To put regulations in place and what happened? It froze everything in place. This (rotary phone) is regulated by Title II. [displays an iPhone] This is not.

That’s right, Senator Dingleberry claims the Communications Act of 1934 kept land lines in rotary stagnation while smart phones have thrived, free of government’s heavy hand. Funny thing. Smart phones are regulated under the same jurisdiction as rotary phones. Ever hear of the FCC? It was created by the — wait for it — Communications Act of 1934 and it has the power to regulate cell phone providers. As a sitting senator, he probably knows that. Afterall, he’s on the subcommittee of Communications, Technology, and the God Damn Internet — no, really, that’s the subcommittee’s actual name … we’re told, anyway.

Net Neutrality has nothing to do with changing the Internets. It’s about keeping them the same — exactly the same. It’s about ensuring ISPs can’t extract fees from content providers, throttle competitors or marginalize small enterprises like this little nerdblog. It’s about treating the Internets as a public utility. It’s about ensuring all content providers operate on an even playing field — may the best ones win.

Your JoeDog is told Ted Cruz is smart (he’s not sure if that’s true, but that’s what he’s told.) If Senator Smarty Pants is indeed an intelligent man, then he’s lying to you in that video. He’s intentionally distorting reality in order to promote a political agenda. He’s creating “Death Panels” for the Internets in order to appease his political benefactors. And that, my nerd blog friends, is worse than being stupid.